i’ve learned so much this year, so fast, that my head has been left spinning. i found strength in all my nooks and grew strength where there wasn’t any living. i asked myself to grow publicly and not break easily. i didn’t break. i leaned on so many soft shoulders and i cried into so many cold mornings. i was loved, largely and i was left quietly. i created a child i call “lovestrong.” i saw the world. i lived in airplanes. i saw the faces of those i need, glow. i grew grey hair and i learned to let go. i fought with my ability. i watched the ones i love watch me lose my speech. i said yes to everything, but had to cancel many promises. i asked for it to be easy. nothing’s ever easy. i had a heart warming ride of melodies. i learned how to play my music in front of seas of sweet people wanting to be freed. i thought i would die. i survived. 2011 was indescribable. it was almost impossible. it fought against statistics and it tested limits. it broke what was already broken and it healed more then i asked for. 16 days left of a year that i’ll never forget. 2011 for me was a deal breaker and trend setter. it took everything from me and gave it back and then took it again and then gave it back, took it all one more time, swore it had won, but surrendered and brought it down to the ground where i laid waving a white flower. i have felt loss and light… sometimes at the same time. i broke my lessons open and looked inside. i loved and i laughed the whole time. i prayed and found a love affair with the devine. i wasted my love and my lips and all my romance on a man who didn’t want this. i found out who my true friends would be. i found true friends waiting to help me. i became known by the ever changing radio. they said yes even after they said no. i repaired my falling heart. i fixed my limp. i learned how to sing after removing the block on my vocal fold. i unblocked the shakras turning me to stone. i asked and i received every single thing i dreamed. i am so lucky. i am so lucky. i lived out my fantasies. i swam, and will keep swimming. this year made me l i v e. bring on next years possibilities… i’m ready to begin again.
thank you for loving me.
i love you back.